Hi Lucia,
I've been daing a cub 20 years younger than me for about six months. I allow myself to become obsessed with what he's doing when I'm not with him. I hate not feeling in control. How can I stop obsessing and get back in the driver's seat of this relationship? Claire
Hi Claire,
By constantly thinking about him, you are putting him on a pedestal and turning him into a "God" in your mind when he is merely a mortal man. Since you feel out of control, you will feel as if you need to control him in order to get back in the "driver's seat". However, this usually has the opposite effect, as everyone wants to feel free and runs away when they start to feel someone is trying to control them. You're basically making your fears come true.
The way to stop obsessing about anything or anyone, is to focus on something or someone else. What else are you passionate about that you use to divert your attention from him? A hobby, working out, maybe another guy who you are attracted to?
We can never totally control other people, so focus on what you can control, and you will both be a lot happier!
Hi Claire,
By constantly thinking about him, you are putting him on a pedestal and turning him into a "God" in your mind when he is merely a mortal man. Since you feel out of control, you will feel as if you need to control him in order to get back in the "driver's seat". However, this usually has the opposite effect, as everyone wants to feel free and runs away when they start to feel someone is trying to control them. You're basically making your fears come true.
The way to stop obsessing about anything or anyone, is to focus on something or someone else. What else are you passionate about that you use to divert your attention from him? A hobby, working out, maybe another guy who you are attracted to?
We can never totally control other people, so focus on what you can control, and you will both be a lot happier!
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