The Relationship Repair Toolkit

When couples hit a rough patch in their relationship they are often not well equipped to handle it. Couples are also reluctant to call in an expert like they would if their refrigerator or car broke down. Instead, the try to repair the relationship with a do it yourself approach. But like many do it yourself jobs they find they don't have the right tools for the job. So here is a brief relationship repair toolkit for the do it yourselfer.

The first thing you need in your relationship repair toolkit is objectivity. You need to analyze what went wrong in your situation. What was your role in it? What was the other person's role? You must be brutally objective. This is an absolute must for you to move on in your relationship. So put on your hard hat and start being objective.

You are going to have to clear away a lot of debris from your past. This means you need a versatile and sharp tool that can help you get through a lot of difficult terrain. So something like a hatchet would be good to have in your relationship repair kit. Try to get all the thorns and rough patches from your past behind you. So often couples get caught up in a he said, she said scenario from the past. What really matters is what's in front of you and where you want to go. You should cut away all the stuff keeping you trapped in the past, at least all the bad things from the past.

So, the next tool for you relationship repair kit is a compass. You need a clear understanding of exactly where you are and where you want to go. You need to map a course for the next steps in your relationship and how you plan to get there. You need some sort of overall plan or map so that you know when you are getting off course. This means that you also have a destination in mind. You can't go back to where you were. You must be moving forward. So take your time and make sure you plan ahead. Use some sort of compass to make sure that you are moving to your goal of reconciliation.

Patience is going to take up a lot of space in your relationship repair kit. Ask any do it yourselfer and they will tell you that they always have to make multiple trips to the hardware store to get a job done. Every home repair job takes much more time than you think it will. Relationships are certainly no different. You are going to make some mistakes. You are going to hit your thumb with the hammer, so be patient. You can still get the job done. Remember what it is that you are building and you will get there. There will be many deep breaths and sighs along the way but keep using your patience tool. Losing your patience is once sure way of completely messing up the relationship repair job.

Finally, I would recommend a sense of humor for your relationship repair kit. As mentioned above, your patience is going to be tried over and over. You will need your sense of humor to get through it. Don't be afraid to laugh even if you feel like crying. A good sense of humor is not only good for your relationship repair kit, its also very attractive to the other person. So keep your perspective and your sense of humor.

Like many jobs. relationship repair is sometimes best left to the experts. If you are finding the job too much for a do it yourself approach try the experts at http://themagicofmakinguptoday.com They have helped thousands of people from all over the world.

Michael Cimino is a counselor who has worked extensively with young couples throughout his community. Through his community service, he works with teens and young couples on a variety of social and relationship issues.