Dating at 20 vs Dating at 40

Hi Lucia,

I believe that dating in your 40's needs to be treated in a completely different way then in your 20's.  What are your thoughts?  Joan

Hi Joan,

I acquiesce!  The 20’s is a time when you are still growing and maturing.  Scientists at the NIH campus in Bethesda, Md., have found that "the executive branch" of the teen brain — the part that weighs risks, makes judgments and controls impulsive behavior isn’t fully mature until age 25. 

This is a time to find out what you will or will not put up with in a partner, learn how to set boundaries and compromise.  If you want to get married and start a family, then you should only date partners that are good marriage material – although this is often easier said than done.  

 It’s also the time to cheat and be cheated on, so that you’ll understand both sides of the coin.  The 20s is a good time to have your heart broken – it makes you realize how fragile love can sometimes be and makes you humble.  This is the when you should make most of your dating mistakes.

If you are dating in their 40s, it usually means you’re divorced and may have a child or two.  The priority may no longer be marriage but simply finding a companion with shared interests, who is on the same wavelength mentally and emotionally.  If you have kids under 18, they are the priority and shouldn’t be introduced to anyone unless that person is going to be there long term.  

By now you’ve made most of your dating mistakes and the drama of relationships should be over.   You realize that cheating is not worth it and if you’re not happy you’ll speak up and try to remedy the situation or part on good terms.